A Weekly Practice for Energetic and Emotional Hygiene
Part of my weekly hygiene practice — energetic hygiene, emotional hygiene — is taking a few moments to review the week from a bird’s-eye view. I sit with the experiences I’ve had and witness them without judgment. Not to replay or analyze them endlessly, but to see clearly:
Is any part of me still holding on?
Is my energy still caught in something?
And if it is, I meet it with presence — and choose to release what’s no longer serving me.
The Pattern I Didn’t See Coming
This morning, something unexpected surfaced.
I noticed I’ve still been holding on to the energy of wanting to help people save themselves.
Now — to be clear — I have no desire to save people. I’m not here to play the hero or amplify anyone’s victimhood. That’s not how I coach, and it’s not how I live.
But there was a thread I hadn’t fully seen before: the desire to be chosen as the one who helps. The mirror. The initiator. The spark.
When Self-Worth Hides Behind Helping
Beneath that thread was something even older:
A pattern of self-judgment.
A voice that whispers:
Am I helping enough?
Am I worth what someone is investing to work with me?
That voice doesn’t come from the present. It’s the echo of a much younger part of me — one whose identity was shaped around being useful.
And that thread is tightly wound into my relationship with money.
Healing Money Mindset Wounds
In a recent Thrive peer group session, we explored our money stories — the unconscious narratives we carry from childhood, family, and culture. Stories like:
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Money is hard to earn
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It’s scarce or unstable
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You have to hustle to feel worthy or safe
One of the questions I offered the group was:
If money were a person, what would your relationship with them be like? And how would you want it to change?
For me, money long carried a feeling of unpredictability. As a kid, I went from financial stability to scarcity almost overnight. One year we were fine. The next, not so much. It felt like money — and the safety it symbolized — could just vanish.
Childhood Wounds That Shape Our Beliefs
That experience overlapped with another early wound: being ditched by a close friend without warning — once at nine, again at ten. One day I belonged. The next, I didn’t. No explanation. Just absence.
I learned not to trust. Not just people, but the systems I thought were secure.
Even now, after years of growth, I still catch myself gripping — subtly bracing for the worst. Still hearing the shadow of that fear.
And then there’s the shame.
The memory of being the “poor kid” at the rich school. The unspoken — and sometimes spoken — sense that I didn’t fully belong.
These Stories Shape Us — But They Don’t Define Us
This is why I keep doing this work.
Not because I’m broken, but because these moments shape us. But they don’t have to define us.
Too often, we over-identify with our past pain. We carry outdated stories into our present:
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That we’re not enough
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That we have to earn love or safety
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That money is unreliable or dangerous
But when we pause and look clearly, we can release the emotional charge. We can see what actually happened — and choose a different response.
Shifting from Survival to Presence
From that grounded place, we get to choose:
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Not from fear
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Not from old roles
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But from clarity, power, and presence
Your relationship with money, self-worth, or connection doesn’t have to be heavy. You don’t have to preempt failure to protect yourself. You don’t have to carry fear as a shield.
Especially if you’re resourced — with food, shelter, and the ability to create value — you don’t need to live like the worst is always around the corner.
You can choose trust.
You can choose agency.
You can choose to call your energy back.
Guided Practice: Call Your Energy Back
This is a simple, powerful practice to release what’s not yours and reconnect with your grounded self.
1. Get Still
Find a quiet space. Sit or lie down. Take three slow breaths. Feel your body connect to the ground. Let yourself drop in.
2. Name the Moment
Bring to mind a moment from this past week that still holds a charge — emotionally, mentally, or physically.
3. Zoom Out
Observe the moment from above. You’re not inside it — you’re watching it neutrally. See what actually happened.
4. Breathe Through
As emotions surface, let them move through your body. No fixing. No naming. Just breath and presence. Release any stories that no longer serve.
5. Reclaim Your Energy
As you breathe, say to yourself:
Inhale: I call my energy back.
Exhale: I release what is not mine to carry.
6. Anchor It In
When you feel complete, take one last full breath. Wiggle your fingers. Stretch. Open your eyes. Return to your day with your energy fully your own.