It’s funny how the same things get in our way—over and over again.
In several coaching sessions this week, a theme kept surfacing: brilliant, focused leaders getting hijacked by younger versions of themselves. These personas take the wheel at precisely the wrong moments, leading to confusion, emotional spirals, or decisions rooted in fear and childhood wounds rather than clarity and presence.
We all have them—personas, parts, masks. Aspects of ourselves that developed to help us survive, fit in, or stay safe. In Internal Family Systems, they’re known as “parts.” In other lineages, they’re referred to as subpersonalities or inner children. No matter the language, the core truth remains: these parts have served us well. But they’re not necessarily meant to lead us now.
The work is not to shame or reject them—but to recognize when they’re showing up, take a breath, and return to the grounded, wise adult within us. When we choose to respond from presence instead of reacting from a younger default mode, we reclaim our energy, our direction, and our power.
Taking a conscious moment to pause—to breathe, to feel into your body, and to notice who is responding—is not just a nice idea. It’s a powerful interruption. It’s how we create space to gently acknowledge the younger versions of ourselves who may be afraid, overwhelmed, or trying to protect us in the only ways they know how. When we offer those part of us compassion, safety, and permission to rest, we open the door for our grounded adult self to step forward. This inner shift allows us to move with greater clarity, sovereignty, and grace—responding to the moment not from fear, but from deep alignment.
This is the kind of work we’ll be doing together at The Clearing Retreat, October 3–5 in the Thousand Islands. It’s the only Shine+ retreat this year—a powerful weekend of presence, release, and intentional reconnection. You’ll be guided through practices to let go of outdated patterns and access the most anchored, visionary version of yourself. It’s a perfect moment to reset: as the trees let go of their leaves, we get to release what we’re no longer meant to carry, and dream into what’s next.
We’ve extended early bird pricing until August 15, and space is limited. If you’re feeling the call to gather in person, in nature, and in deep community, this is your invitation to apply.
Wishing you a beautiful exploration of your parts, and compassion as you swim in these waters.
Get to Know Your Parts
A powerful exercise to help you identify and work with your personas:
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Sit quietly and invite a younger version of yourself to be present—one who shows up in moments of stress, neediness, or self-doubt.
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Ask yourself:
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What do they look like?
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What’s their name or identity?
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How does it feel to be them, physically and emotionally?
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What are their typical thoughts and beliefs?
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What are they most afraid of?
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What do they want most?
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In what ways have they helped you?
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How do they tend to get in your way today?
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Now, connect with your grounded, empowered adult self and ask the same questions (above).
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Give yourself a few moments to fully integrate what it feels like to be in your body when you’re fully present and in your power. What shifts when you breathe and choose to respond from here?
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Take a few minutes to journal about what you noticed about these different personas, and how you can consciously shift from one to the other going forward.
This practice helps you notice and name these parts, while strengthening the muscle of presence and choice.
